drained .. dried … and done

after a 5 day vacation  i can’t think straight on what to do next  .. where to start again in this state where  everything is just totally  broken … dreams .. heart … soul … and mind  … it’s like I’m trying so hard t keep everything in place and it’s like I’m here one meter away from myself looking at it destructing itself, and no matter  how I tried  I can’t do anything to stop it. Everything is just a mess and I don’t know how to clean it anymore I’ve been cleaning all my life and it’s just  messing up every moment,  i tried to start  all over again … even prayers right now is freaking me up … i don’t have the courage to kneel anymore  to say just a one word prayer,  I’m too drained to move.. to dried to continue … and done with everything … this is all making me numb no matter how i tried to wiggle myself it’s not  making me move anymore… how long will it take I don’t  know …  I’m not even trying to hope because even hope scares me. If this will end, I’m wishing this will end too soon because it’s eating me so badly.

I was reviewing my draft and saw this piece some few years back that was left there unpublished  I can’t believe how depressed and shattered I was at that time, so I’m posting this now because I think it’s worth reading.  Also  to remind me that there is nothing constant in this world including failures and pains everything will all pass. I am  happy now not the happiest but I am happy and it’s a nice place to be.

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Looking Back

Five years ago I started blogging with wordpress.com, as I was reviewing everything I’ve written and noticed all the grammatical errors of what I’ve previously written  I am still thankful that someone introduced me to this site, it gives me the freedom to express my emotions at a given moment, the opportunity to show the world what I’ve been to, the chance to share my travels and the captured moments, but most of all this is my little place to cast and practice what I love the most writing. Today after all those years of writing although there are a lot of changes that happens to this site and the way things are posted, nevertheless it taught me one thing that no matter how the world had become very dependent on technology, there is always comfort in sitting down and writing what you feel and what you want to express and jotting down your thought with a cup of coffee or a glass of wine is as heavenly as watching the sun goes up and down. As I continue with this passion though not all the time those right words pop up in my brain cells, I am still as excited as the first time I laid my fingers on the keyboard to make a starter piece of my site. I am just hoping that this year I can share more moments, more words, more pictures and more expressions.

summer 2013 – first stop oslob, cebu

’twas a summer bonding  of friends who loves adventures and cherished memories. so we decided to  travel to the beach, but not just an ordinary one, to a beach with  friendly giants. Here’s our first  summer fun watching the famous  whale shark in a place not so far  from the city.

It was  a 2 to 3 hour drive  from  the heart of cebu city, we took the  public bus called ceres liner , for less than 5 usd  you’ll enjoy the  travel in an airconditioned bus. We were greeted with this  nice  lady called  gailey at BCD resort. The place is good, the  people are even better,  the staff  as well as the owner were  very accommodating,   what’s lacking is the accessibility of the  food  they don’t have a 24 hour  food service,  so if you want to take your lunch or dinner  you have  to go to a near tiangge or the market  or just simply look for another place  to eat, they can also cook  for you but you have to arrange it with them  in advance, the moment we arrived,  off we go to the  seaside  little  market to ease the  hunger of a traveler, after that we explore the place, what’s good in the place   is that the beach is not yet commercialized so you’ll enjoy the  touch of nature  in a very natural way, the beach is not sandy, it’s actually  so rocky but the waves .. oh the waves is so enticing you can’t help but swim.

The following day was when  the fun begins, whale shark watching was both  unforgettable and breath taking. You only have to  pay about 12 usd for a 30 minute fun with the  whale, that amount includes  the snorkel gear that  you can use if you decide to dip in the water and  have a closer look of  the  whale, but if you only stay in the boat and  just  do the viewing you’ll  have  pay less than     10 usd. It was a 30 minute fun  that you will cherish forever.  Although we decided to not explore the place  but there are other  places to go  to after whale watching like a falls that is  a 5 minute ride from where we are , but we decided to just enjoy the beauty of the sea and  the fun in the sand, we decided to just swim and visit other attractions next time.  As  we prepare to go home this gentle giants sure had put a smile  in our face and happiness in our hearts. It is indeed more fun in the Philippines.

Here’s a  some pieces of memories we had in Oslob Whaleshark watching. enjoy watching our summer fun with the sea the sand and the shark.

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year ender 2 – kissing 2011 goodbye …

after  all the Christmas  rush and panic shopping, here’s another  special occasions a lot of  people are anticipating  some  wants it to arrive, and for some, they want the time clock to just stop for a moment so new year’s eve will not  come yet , as for  me , I’m starting to kiss 2011 goodbye.. just like the previous years  I’m going to leave all the pain behind  .. all the shattered dreams and  hopelessness … I’ll try to embrace the coming year  with open  heart  .. open mind.. hoping against hope that  somehow  the happiness that I’ve been looking for in the last few years of my  life will finally find its way to my heart …  it’s not  gonna be easy  but i think I will survive just  like  in the past, however  even if  in this state of  hopelessness I’m taking my chances in any way I can  to  finally arrive to that  place where I feel completely  happy. As i kiss  this year goodbye .. I’m gonna bring with me  the memories of  happy times though not that much but  it helps me a lot .. i’m gonna look forward to a  brighter 2012 with new friends around  and some few old friends to keep. So here we go some few days  before we finally shout  HAPPY NEW YEAR  one and all !!!!