after a 5 day vacation i can’t think straight on what to do next .. where to start again in this state where everything is just totally broken … dreams .. heart … soul … and mind … it’s like I’m trying so hard t keep everything in place and it’s like I’m here one meter away from myself looking at it destructing itself, and no matter how I tried I can’t do anything to stop it. Everything is just a mess and I don’t know how to clean it anymore I’ve been cleaning all my life and it’s just messing up every moment, i tried to start all over again … even prayers right now is freaking me up … i don’t have the courage to kneel anymore to say just a one word prayer, I’m too drained to move.. to dried to continue … and done with everything … this is all making me numb no matter how i tried to wiggle myself it’s not making me move anymore… how long will it take I don’t know … I’m not even trying to hope because even hope scares me. If this will end, I’m wishing this will end too soon because it’s eating me so badly.
I was reviewing my draft and saw this piece some few years back that was left there unpublished I can’t believe how depressed and shattered I was at that time, so I’m posting this now because I think it’s worth reading. Also to remind me that there is nothing constant in this world including failures and pains everything will all pass. I am happy now not the happiest but I am happy and it’s a nice place to be.
Five years ago I started blogging with wordpress.com, as I was reviewing everything I’ve written and noticed all the grammatical errors of what I’ve previously written I am still thankful that someone introduced me to this site, it gives me the freedom to express my emotions at a given moment, the opportunity to show the world what I’ve been to, the chance to share my travels and the captured moments, but most of all this is my little place to cast and practice what I love the most writing. Today after all those years of writing although there are a lot of changes that happens to this site and the way things are posted, nevertheless it taught me one thing that no matter how the world had become very dependent on technology, there is always comfort in sitting down and writing what you feel and what you want to express and jotting down your thought with a cup of coffee or a glass of wine is as heavenly as watching the sun goes up and down. As I continue with this passion though not all the time those right words pop up in my brain cells, I am still as excited as the first time I laid my fingers on the keyboard to make a starter piece of my site. I am just hoping that this year I can share more moments, more words, more pictures and more expressions.
this picture was taken in rizal boulevard when i had an early morning walk in the city of dumaguete philippines
’twas a summer bonding of friends who loves adventures and cherished memories. so we decided to travel to the beach, but not just an ordinary one, to a beach with friendly giants. Here’s our first summer fun watching the famous whale shark in a place not so far from the city.
It was a 2 to 3 hour drive from the heart of cebu city, we took the public bus called ceres liner , for less than 5 usd you’ll enjoy the travel in an airconditioned bus. We were greeted with this nice lady called gailey at BCD resort. The place is good, the people are even better, the staff as well as the owner were very accommodating, what’s lacking is the accessibility of the food they don’t have a 24 hour food service, so if you want to take your lunch or dinner you have to go to a near tiangge or the market or just simply look for another place to eat, they can also cook for you but you have to arrange it with them in advance, the moment we arrived, off we go to the seaside little market to ease the hunger of a traveler, after that we explore the place, what’s good in the place is that the beach is not yet commercialized so you’ll enjoy the touch of nature in a very natural way, the beach is not sandy, it’s actually so rocky but the waves .. oh the waves is so enticing you can’t help but swim.
The following day was when the fun begins, whale shark watching was both unforgettable and breath taking. You only have to pay about 12 usd for a 30 minute fun with the whale, that amount includes the snorkel gear that you can use if you decide to dip in the water and have a closer look of the whale, but if you only stay in the boat and just do the viewing you’ll have pay less than 10 usd. It was a 30 minute fun that you will cherish forever. Although we decided to not explore the place but there are other places to go to after whale watching like a falls that is a 5 minute ride from where we are , but we decided to just enjoy the beauty of the sea and the fun in the sand, we decided to just swim and visit other attractions next time. As we prepare to go home this gentle giants sure had put a smile in our face and happiness in our hearts. It is indeed more fun in the Philippines.
Here’s a some pieces of memories we had in Oslob Whaleshark watching. enjoy watching our summer fun with the sea the sand and the shark.
this is how we celebrate new year in our subdivision ..we call it fireworks ,,, food,,, and friends … we reconnect .. rekindle and renew our friendship … hoping that as we celebrate and embrace together the coming year it will strengthen our connections and make our friendship stronger … way to go 2012 …
after all the Christmas rush and panic shopping, here’s another special occasions a lot of people are anticipating some wants it to arrive, and for some, they want the time clock to just stop for a moment so new year’s eve will not come yet , as for me , I’m starting to kiss 2011 goodbye.. just like the previous years I’m going to leave all the pain behind .. all the shattered dreams and hopelessness … I’ll try to embrace the coming year with open heart .. open mind.. hoping against hope that somehow the happiness that I’ve been looking for in the last few years of my life will finally find its way to my heart … it’s not gonna be easy but i think I will survive just like in the past, however even if in this state of hopelessness I’m taking my chances in any way I can to finally arrive to that place where I feel completely happy. As i kiss this year goodbye .. I’m gonna bring with me the memories of happy times though not that much but it helps me a lot .. i’m gonna look forward to a brighter 2012 with new friends around and some few old friends to keep. So here we go some few days before we finally shout HAPPY NEW YEAR one and all !!!!