photographs and memories

 a year ago i never thought my birthday would be extra ordinarily memorable celebrating it with people who was never related to me or close to my heart but welcomed me in their place without hesitation… i was amazed and surprised on how they treated me like their own .. the memories still lingers like it was just last night when i arrived in Maasin … lonely .. confused .. bothered of my decision in celebrating my birthday with the Manceras’ .. however the moment i stepped in their doorstep when i saw the genuine smile of their faces i was relieved, i said this is gonna be ok .. and yes it was not just alright it was worth all the travel .. the cake Ainah bought for me .. the happy birthday song they sang with all their might .. i never had such a happy day the way i celebrated it in Maasin .. I’ve been to places ..been to people close, closer and closest but that day was the greatest of them all … the Canigao island adventure trip .. the motorcycling in the city … the singing in the street … ’twas all memories i’m going to keep forever … from that day on a bond that binds  us was created … friendship that i will  keep no matter what happen ..  today another birthday is here to come .. unfortunately … this year it’s all frustrations and depressions .. paranoia and broken dreams .. hopelessness and impossible goals … i wonder what 2nd of July will bring for me this year … i’m done with hoping or praying or wishing or dreaming .. I’ve come to a point where  i’m  exhausted with  life itself.. sometimes i wish i never existed .. sometimes  thinking  or saying a word  is  long  enough to survive ..  right now i’m basically dead at heart and soul  … i’m just going with the flow … wherever this life brings .. i guess i’ve got nothing to lose since I’ve got nothing left … all these  i will hide in my smile .. so shall i say .. birthday hope this year you’ll find the map for happiness for me …<end>

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