re-posting my prev blog :
as i was scanning the pages of a magazine i picked up words that caught my attention .. create one whole notes with it by putting it in between phrases in my thought .. look what i’ve created .. something deeper than my laughter ..deeper than my OAness ..deeper than my broken heart ..deepr than my shattered dreams …deeper than what i expcted it to be …the words and phrases in capital letters are the words that caught my eyes…
i’m not really sure why i’ve decided for this vacation,maybe i’m tooexhausted w/ what’s life had been in the past 5 yrs or maybe i want to stop for awhile & think over THINGS LEFT & THINGS I NEED TO KEEP or probably i want to just say GO AHEAD SPOIL YOURSELF YOU DESERVE IT, as i get nearer to the time that i’m going to take a break relax a little bit i realized that i’m in SEARCH OF A PLACE that i call my own i have BIG IDEAS that pops up every now and then it’s like a MEGAPHONE shouting at the back of my mind, it’s WAXING OVER in the deepest part of my heart, but there’s this fear that is about to SELF-DESTRUCT my senses, as i continue to UNBUILT this pessimism i need something to INSPIRE me something that will soften this SPOT in my heart that’s been harden through time and as i continue writting and drinking my cup of COFFEE i realized the TRUTH that even in this world of ACCEPTED LIES all iever been looking for is the real meaning of the word HAPPINESS . and no matter how i tried and no matter how the world ROCKS, there are really times that u feel like ONE MULITPLIED set of hard times.
then just as i was done reading this piece i finally realized that i wasn’t just jotting down this words because it caught my attention i pick these words because it’s what i felt right now ..i’m COLLECTING FRAGMENTS of what i felt and what i wish deep inside me ..hoping to create a better TRANSFORMATION in the end … so when i reah 69 AND A HALF life is a little bit better than this.