re-inventing …renewing ….

been this and that in the past 5 years … been starting all over again and again and i just can’t hold on to it and i crashed down .. breaking myself into pieces .. hurting even more … frustrated more .. and here i go again with this cycle called life trying to get up after i stumble ..  trying  to be strong after one broken dreams to another broken dreams  .. feeling like i’m all consumed and nothings left … but  when i stop thinking  and just smell  everything like  the scent of the  roses or  watch the butterfly dance  … stare at my ceiling  … drink all that can make me drunk … watch the time passes by i just realize i’m still  breathing  … i still have a  feeling … i’m maybe numb  now  .. but even numbness is a realization that  i’m alive … will i survive ? i’m not sure  … only time can tell  … still i have this urge to try again … to make a whole new me out of nothing at all  …  will i make it ? maybe .. maybe not …  i’m not scared anymore since there’s nothing  left then there’s nothing  to lose … one thing i’m sure i’m not gonna stop. this has been me … this is me … and this will be  me … forever fighting .. no matter how hard  …no matter how  difficult .. no matter how impossible … i’ll make it happen i will not stop trying .. i will continue moving … no matter  how slow.. no matter how vague and rocky the road is .. no matter how  huge the waves i’m going to encounter matter how wide the horizon.. no matter how uncertain all this .. as long as it takes me forward …  i’ll give it a shot.. i’ll take a chance coz’ i don’t wanna get stuck.. so life let the ball roll,..   i’m up and back … ready to start .



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